Remember the brief moment, in the early days of the 2020 campaign, when Stormy Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti, was considered a presidential contender?
Sure, the stoat-like Avenatti earned Tucker Carlson’s sobriquet for him: “creepy porn lawyer.” That didn’t stop the relentless self-promoter from exploring a presidential campaign — or stop the media from taking him seriously.
“You look at the field of Democrats right now, and Avenatti’s the one who stands out. He’s the one who’s not a politician,” The Washington Post’s White House bureau chief Philip Rucker said during an MSNBC segment in 2018. “If he gives the base what they’re looking for and shows he can go toe-to-toe with Trump, he’d have a chance.”
“I have always said they need a fighter,” political science professor Jason Johnson said of Avenatti. “You need someone who is not going to take the high road because the high road doesn’t work with [Donald Trump].”
Avenatti did not, in fact, end up in the White House, instead landing behind bars for numerous felonies, including extortion, wire fraud and identity theft. Looks like that didn’t work out. The Democrats went the boring route instead, nominating Joe Biden. While he ended up in the White House, it’s looking like that isn’t working out too well, either.
So, according to a new poll, Democrats are willing to look at another non-traditional candidate: the Duchess of Sussex.
According to the U.K. Express, the artist formerly known as Meghan Markle topped a poll by the Washington, D.C.-based Democracy Institute, which found a majority of Democrats wanted a female to lead the Democratic ticket in 2024.
“We have confirmed that most Democrats want a female and arguably demand a female candidate next time,” Democracy Institute director Patrick Basham said.
“It has been said for a few years that the Democrats will pretty soon be in a position where the national Democratic Party stops nominating white heterosexual males as candidates.
“Previously we have had Michelle Obama in there. She is not a serious candidate because she does not appear to be serious about running. The elephant in the room on the Democratic side is Meghan Markle, who continues to make moves out there and, I would argue, test the water in various ways and in various senses.”
The poll found that 64 percent of Democrats wanted a female atop the ticket next time.
The poll, which included 525 Democrats among the 1,500 likely voters surveyed, found that 27 percent wanted the Duchess of Sussex to run — more than any other candidate.
Vice President Kamala Harris was second with 25 percent. Yes, even though she was picked specifically as the heir apparent to Joe Biden, Kamala still can’t beat a former actress whose main claim to fame is marrying the black sheep of a royal family that includes the Jeffrey Epstein-linked Prince Andrew. Chew on that for a second.
“Hillary Clinton — who lost to Donald Trump in 2016 — and left-wing Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez were in joint third with 20 percent,” the Express reported.
“Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren, a favorite of the liberal left who made a bid to be the Democratic presidential candidate in 2020, trailed behind on eight percent.”
However, Democrats shouldn’t kid themselves into thinking Markle is going to be a solution to their problems. While the Sussexes are more popular in the United States than they are in Britain — where the couple remains pariahs after their acrimonious split from the royal family — a royal expert warned that the couple is “not without their critics” in America.
“The Republican right of America see Harry and Meghan as being the woke royals in the same way that they are sometimes characterized in Britain,” royal watcher Jack Royston said, according to the Express.
“They do have their detractors in America but that middle ground, that kind of center ground, is much more positive of Harry and Meghan out in America than it is in Britain.”
“Positive” is not “presidential,” however. But, like Michael Avenatti, Markle’s popularity speaks to a different issue: The Democrats’ White House options for 2024 fall into the categories of being blandly bad and uniquely worse.
President Biden has insisted he’s running again, even if he almost falls asleep while he’s insisting he’s seeking another term. If he does run, that means Vice President Harris almost certainly won’t — although there’s nothing to evince that she would do much better, were the baton passed to her.
If the race becomes a representation sweepstakes, Markle is both a woman and the first royal of color — and an American to boot. Has she done anything that’s proved she’s capable of holding the most powerful office in the free world? Absolutely not — but she’s a woman of color. Two boxes checked! Just none that involve competency.
If one were to stick with the distaff gender, the poll found that the women trailing Markle were three failed, boring former presidential candidates and a self-described socialist currently in the news for having a hissy-fit over the fact Elon Musk will charge her $8 a month to keep her Twitter blue checkmark. Promising this ain’t.
If the Democrats were to slum it and include candidates with a Y chromosome, things don’t look better. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, a man who’s done next to nothing during the supply-chain crisis aside from loudly declaring we’d all be less worried about energy inflation if we all bought pricey electric vehicles, is the male favorite to take Democratic nomination if the president doesn’t get it. He’s white, but least he checks off the gay identity box.
Golden State Gov. Gavin Newsom, another potential candidate, is merely a straight white guy — although his hair identifies as an otter, if that helps. The problem, aside from his Wonder Bread-esque cisgendered heteronormativity, is that he’s the head of a state that’s come to symbolize leftist dysfunction. “Make America California Already” isn’t exactly the slogan you want to be touting when it comes to courting swing-state voters.
Then there’s Sen. Bernie Sanders, a two-time failed candidate who’s older than Joe Biden. While he seems a bit better for wear than the president — probably because he didn’t have a real job until he was about 40, thus preserving his energies for the second half of his life — that still doesn’t make him an appealing swap.
So, if you’re a Democrat, you go through that list and (if you’ve got any sanity left), you’re thinking to yourself, “No, no, no and no.” So, who are you left with?
Even the interviewer sounds worried that Biden was falling asleep or having some kind of medical event. Insanity. 🤡pic.twitter.com/syy1gtWisf
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) October 22, 2022
Yep. That guy.
The only reason that Democrats are so high on making the Duchess of Sussex a candidate and turning the 2024 presidential race into “The Princess Diaries 3: A Royal Campaign in the Butt” is that there’s no one else.
Biden’s failed. Most of the rest of the field has failed, too, in their own ways. The best that can be said about Meghan Markle is she hasn’t failed, if only because she hasn’t tried. Her only experience in politics can be charitably be called activism, and more realistically described as giving unqualified, unsolicited opinions on a select set of sociopolitical issues.
So bereft of options are the Democrats, however, that it could be that’s all the duchess needs. Unless Michael Avenatti gets pardoned, of course.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.