I’m going to go way out on a limb here and say that Simon Cowell is still getting work done.
Daring, I know. But sometimes we have to call ’em like we see ’em in the hard-hitting world of online news.
Plus, you know — there were a bunch of other people saying similar stuff on Twitter already. So it seemed fair.
The former “American Idol” judge recorded a video encouraging people to audition for what I still think of as his “new” show, “Britain’s Got Talent” (which premiered in 2007), that was shared on social media Thursday.
Cowell hasn’t been shy in the past about admitting that he’s received Botox injections and other procedures designed to make him look … I don’t know. Younger, I guess? But he said earlier this year that he’d sworn off Botox, at least, according to Page Six.
Of course, swearing off one procedure doesn’t mean he was finished with all of them. But at any rate, I’m pretty sure he didn’t walk into the doctor’s office and ask to be made to look like this:
Or, I don’t know. Maybe that’s just what he was hoping he’d look like. I don’t know why anybody does anything, and the reasons celebrities do whatever they do are even more mystifying.
One thing that didn’t surprise me: Cowell deleted the video after his new look was absolutely skewered on social media. But what happens on the internet stays on the internet, my dude, which means it’s going to be available forever.
At least I’m not alone. Twitter seemed at least as taken aback as I was, if not more so.
Here are a few of the ones that made me laugh the hardest, which probably says more about my sense of humor than it does about Cowell’s face.
Simon Cowell has cancelled plans for his new tv show “Bees Got Talent” after an unprovoked attack by contestants. pic.twitter.com/5GxKM8sFGV
— Mark Tait (@marktait78) December 1, 2022
Britain’s Got Talent, but not in plastic surgeons, if Simon Cowell’s new face is anything to go by. pic.twitter.com/PCkVueWXcT
— Lee Hurst #VoteAnyoneButLibLabConGreen (@LeeHurstComic) December 1, 2022
Been debating with myself the ethical dilemma of mocking someone for their looks, when their face is a cosmetic creation they paid for in a cost of living crisis. Either way, I wouldn’t want Simon Cowell to emerge from my wardrobe in the middle of the night.
— Stewart Who? (@DJstewartwho) December 1, 2022
OK, me either. But then there are few people I’d want to see emerge from my wardrobe in the middle of the night.
Simon Cowell has looked better tbh. Thoughts and prayers pic.twitter.com/o54O8vGJkA
— WEF UK I’m Official 🦠 (@wef_uk) December 1, 2022
Simon Cowell’s looking good for his age. pic.twitter.com/vKGe5Fc39V
— Official Veryfied Account (@godblesstoby) December 1, 2022
Some responses got pretty bizarre, but honestly, the more out there they got, the harder I was laughing.
I think at some point we all just need to accept that Simon Cowell died a long time ago and there’s now a team of Racoons working his body from the inside like some kind of grotesque marionette pic.twitter.com/OeNrlbTAjO
— MAZ Gaming #MORG #DCJY 💙 (@mazgaminguk) December 1, 2022
Plastic Surgeon: “But if we go any further, you won’t be able to blink.”
Simon Cowell: “I DON’T CARE. PULL!!!!” pic.twitter.com/pSscvJqbFo
— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) December 1, 2022
Having played — and lost — a lot of Goldeneye with my sons back in the day, I had to screen shot this one for them:
Simon Cowell’s face looks like if George Michael’s corpse was playable character in Goldeneye. pic.twitter.com/c4OS7tIlUL
— Metal Petal (@KingRinTin) December 1, 2022
And finally, I don’t even know what this means, but “haunted oven glove” is maybe the funniest three-word phrase I’ve read in 2022.
Simon Cowell looks like someone tried to make David Gest out of a haunted oven glove x
— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) December 1, 2022
My hat is off to you, Buckers.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.